


Earth

by xvanus



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Anger, Gen, Guilt, It's basically a journey of how one half of Firestorm ended up becoming the other half of Deathstorm, Jefferson Jackson's great painful adventure, Pain, There are other characters in this briefly too, also the legends are jerks in this whoops, rated for swearing basically, the major character death isn't awful don't worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-25 03:22:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12027036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xvanus/pseuds/xvanus
Summary: He had just gotten back when it had happened.If he had been seconds, seconds earlier, if he had just been that bit quicker, then none of this would have happened.Grey wouldn’t have died.OrJefferson Jackson's great adventure in guilt and becoming Deathstorm.





	Earth

He had just gotten back when it had happened.

If he had been seconds, _seconds_ earlier, if he had just been that bit quicker, then none of this would have happened.

Grey wouldn’t have died.

\-------

They had been back in 2017 trying to clean up the mess that they had made of time when everything went down. Jax and Grey had been separated by some sadistic jerk who had found out about Firestorm and wanted to examine them. The Legends had got Grey away – thank god they did, Jax had thought at the time – and he had stayed there as a distraction. Come at me, he had said to asshole who was trying to get to them. Come at me, ‘cos you ain’t getting the others. You can have me. But you ain’t getting them. 

It hadn’t been easy dealing with some creep watching over you all the time. It had been let’s examine your DNA, Mr. Jackson. Let’s see how much you weigh, Mr. Jackson. Maybe we could weigh your organs, Mr. Jackson. Like what the hell, man?!

He hadn’t been scared of the creep, though.

Hell no, he hadn’t been scared.

For the entire time, he had been waiting. Waiting for an opportunity – to try to talk to the Legends, to try to escape. He had tried to reach out to Grey too, to get some confirmation of what was going on. Were the Legends searching for him? Did they even know where he had been taken? Then he had to stop himself from asking stupid questions like that. Of course they were searching for him.

Weren’t they?

\-------

To be honest, it didn’t feel like he had been held in captivity long. And it wasn’t long before he managed to figure out how to break out either. But maybe he had been there for ages. Maybe it had been months. 

It had been late at night when he had managed it; he had watched the guy use his computer controls so many times that it was easy to copy what he did. Jax was smart like that, y’know? Computers and technology were something that he could get his head around.

Without Grey there to merge with it had been kind of hard to get away. He had expected guards but there didn’t seem to be many at all, until he had taken a wrong turn into the damn lab. Then there had been two guards waiting for him. And they had their guns raised. 

In some Captain Kirk-ass move he had taken a match, watching for the slightest indication that the guards would shoot, and had lit a Bunsen burner. A goddamn Bunsen burner. What was this shit, a high school science class? 

As the flames washed over the place he had ran, the familiar heat comforting him and being a welcome distraction from the pain flaring up through his knee. He was getting out of here. He just had to keep running. 

Barry Allen had nothing on him in that moment for sure. 

\-------

When he had gotten out he had figured that first thing was first, he had to find the Legends. I mean, where the heck even were those guys anyway? He had kind of hoped they would have showed up with some elaborate plan to get him out, but there had been nothing. No message from them, no distant but reassuring thought from Grey that said “Jefferson, we’ll be there soon, we’ll get you out.” There was nothing, man. Nothing. And because of there being nothing from the Legends, it was going to be kind of hard for him to hunt them down. 

Despite that, though, Jax knew a place that he could always find help; from the guys at Star Labs. Only problem was that he had figured out by looking at car number plates as he walked away from that facility and into the town was that he was halfway across the country from Star Labs. Oh, and the fact that he literally had nothing with him except from the clothes on his back. 

Hitchhiking was kind of better than he expected it to be. Sure, there were asshole people who totally ignored him as he stood at the roadside sticking his hand out looking like a total damn moron, but then there were nice people who stopped to give him a lift. Lorry drivers seemed to be chill. When he was younger he had read all those stories about hitchhikers getting taken away by drivers and killed and shit so naturally he was nervous. But most of the lorry drivers were fine. They would chat away about where they were heading and what their families were like and who was waiting for them back home, and they would sit back and let Jax listen to the radio while they tried to guess what exactly this young kid was doing trying to get to Central City. 

To be honest, it was a kinda chill experience, apart from the growing feeling of anxiety that was building up in him. I mean, here the hell were the Legends at? 

\-------

He had finally arrived at Star Labs only to find the place in a state of total disarray. Apparently Barry was stuck in the speed force or some other wacky shit, Caitlin was ‘gone’, and Iris was running the show while Wally went around stopping crime in Barry’s place. I mean, it sounded like some totally wild stuff they had gotten themselves into. But then again, it was nothing compared to the fact that the Legends had messed up time itself. 

Cisco and Wally were totally on board with helping to get Jax back to the Legends. When he had explained how he had broken out and travelled back across the country they had been shocked, and thankfully they had been more than willing to help to get him back. They gave him a place to stay while they sorted everything out – that place being at Joe West’s house, courtesy of Wally – which was cool. Hell, Wally was cool. He would have just stayed in Central City and chilled there and helped the Star Labs team if he didn’t have to get back to the Legends team. 

Cisco seemed to be on top of the whole ‘locating rogue superheroes thing,’ and used the same technology that he had used to contact the Legends when the Dominators showed up. This was the super weird part, though. No, this was the super annoying part. This was the part that completely enraged Jax. The Legends were still in 2017. They were still in the same year as him, but they hadn’t come to get him out. Yeah okay, they had probably been running around in other time periods in between, trying to sort shit out and everything. But they were back in 2017 now, and they hadn’t tried to get to Jax. There hadn’t even been a message.

\-------

It was his anger that drove him on from that point. It wasn’t his desperation to see his friends, it wasn’t the separation anxiety that had been plaguing him; it was his anger.

Cisco had used that wild skill of his to get Jax back to the Legends; he ended up being right next to the Waverider when he arrived with Cisco and Wally beside him. The timeship was perched on the edge of a cliff, overlooking some giant canyon below. To begin with he couldn’t really make out why they were here – it was too dark, and his eyes needed a moment to adjust – but then he noticed the faint flicker of bright blue from down below and his entire world seemed to shatter into a million pieces.

 _Grey._

He went to move forward but found himself being pulled back by a hand tight on his arm. Cisco had seen the blue flames before; but this time? This time it was worse. Another hand grabbed onto him and he was being dragged back as he tried to move towards the edge, the flames burning higher and higher as he fought to get to Grey. “It’s too late,” someone was shouting in his ear, barely audible against the pounding sound of his heartbeat and the desperate screams of panic that could be coming from only him. “There’s nothing you can do!”

They were lurched aside then suddenly as the Waverider began to hover, landing gear tucking gently away underneath the hull as it flew away. The anger and the panic and the guilt and the frustration rolled into one and Jax screamed, he fucking _screamed_. He screamed for the Legends, the assholes, who had _left_ him. He screamed for that sadistic prat who had dragged him and Grey away from one another in the first place. He screamed for Grey, who was burning below them. And he screamed for himself, who hadn’t gotten back to Grey in time. 

He was still screaming, his voice hoarse, as Wally and Cisco dragged him away.

\-------

With the picture of the blue flames burned into his memory, Jax didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t heard from the Legends again, and he sure as Hell didn’t want to contact them; those assholes had known that he was there, he was sure of it. They had known that he had come back and they had just left him there instead. They had left him there to watch Grey die.

After the desolation at Grey’s death, there came the anger. He began to blame himself for what had happened. If he had just been quicker at breaking out of that facility, at getting to Star Labs, at finding the Waverider – then all of this could have been avoided. Grey wouldn’t have gone nuclear. Jax could have gotten back and they could have merged; they could have been Firestorm again. But it was too late now. And Grey was dead. 

He ended up sitting around Star Labs doing nothing while everyone worked on a way to get Barry back. Sure, Jax was smart, but he didn’t know any of this speed force shit. He just sat there, silently watching, not being able to help. It didn’t take long for him to figure out that he was just getting in the way. There was no way that he could help the team protect Central City because he wasn’t Firestorm; there was no way that he could help in the whole speed force crisis; there was no way that he could do anything. He just sat around taking up space.

And he hated it. 

\-------

Eventually, he decided on a plan of action. He would go about travelling. He wouldn’t travel the world – he had already seen enough of it throughout the different time periods. Instead, he would travel across the different worlds. He didn’t want to go to Earth-2, though. Cisco had explained to him what had happened there; what Ronnie and Grey had become. Deathstorm, they had been called. And it wasn’t as if Grey wanted to be part of that Deathstorm team. He had been forced to merge with Ronnie, to become that monster. 

Jax didn’t want to go where that had happened. It would hurt too much. 

So instead of going to Earth-2, Wally and Cisco said that they could get him to the next world along; to Earth-3. They had no idea of what was there, but that was where Jay was from, so they knew it had to be a good place. They would get in touch with Jay who had went back to his home; see if he could help Jax out. They would get him through to Earth-3, and then Jay would look after him. It would be an adventure – a better adventure than any one he had been on before. He wouldn’t be ordered around by the Legends this time; no, this would be all up to him. 

It would give him the time to get away from what had happened on Earth-1, and hopefully, it would give him the chance to come to terms with it all. 

\-------

Earth-3 was okay, to say the least. 

Jax spent a good while wandering around when he first got there – Jay was meant to meet him at some place and he had no idea of how to get to it, so he had been trying to navigate his way using a public map. He had actually expected this place to be more futuristic, like how everyone said Earth-2 was supposed to be, but this world just seemed… Well. Normal. It was pretty much just like back home, and he hated to say it, but anywhere like home wasn’t where he wanted to be right now. 

It didn’t take long for him to figure out why Jay was taking so long; as he had walked past a TV store he couldn’t help but notice the familiar flash of lightning on the screens that were displaying the latest news. Jay was out chasing after some bad guys, nothing new. Jax figured it might be a while so he ended up walking into the shop, pretending to be interested in buying one of the damn TVs while in reality wanted to know more about these guys that Jay was trying to stop. 

He ended up speaking to the owner who seemed to be a nice woman. Those guys were lackeys for a group called the Crime Syndicate, she told him. Crime Syndicate, really? They seriously must be assholes to call themselves that. That lot had been terrorising their city, but Jay had been helping to mess ‘em up and try to scare ‘em away. It looked like there was no escaping the jerks of the world, Jax thought. 

I mean, he didn’t care that there were weirdos going around in this world too trying to mess shit up, but it was kinda… Annoying. He wanted to get away from this sorta thing; get away from the villains and the superheroes and the reminder that he couldn’t be either any more. But here it was again – reminding him. Taunting him. And he was just gonna have to deal with it for the time being. 

\-------

Jay explained to him that he had been hunting the Crime Syndicate for a long time, chasing them from place to place in an attempt to take them down. Every attempt so far had failed - the speedster pointed out with anger as they talked over a roast dinner at his house – because these guys always seemed to be one step ahead. Jay would come after them and somehow, they would be gone before he arrived. They would get away with everything they came for as well; if they robbed a bank they came out with all the money, if they went to murder someone for whatever reason then that person was dead for sure. 

Some people whispered that there was another speedster going around. Not a good speedster, that was – one who worked with the bad guys. One like Eobard Thawne, that sorta jerk speedster. People were saying that the speedster was helping the Syndicate, and that’s how they were getting away with everything. This speedster could get them out of every situation just by running from it, and Jay wasn’t fast enough to keep up. 

Despite the unwillingness to get dragged back into all the superhero stuff he had been through with the Legends, Jax had to admit that he was pretty interested in all of the things that were going on. I mean, a group of evil people was kinda fun to think about – he had seen the Legion of Doom, but those guys weren’t proper villains. They were just jerks who thought that they knew better than everyone else. Apparently these guys had taken out entire cities before, and Jax was seriously intrigued. 

He knew that he had come here to get away from all of that sort of thing, but he couldn’t help it… It was all just way too interesting to him. To be part of a group again, a group of heroes – of Legends – but of ones who weren’t jerks and didn’t order one another around… Yeah. That was something that he could get behind. 

\-------

Even in a city that was being plagued by evil supervillains, nothing could stop Jax from heading out at one in the morning in search of food. He knew it was stupid and he knew that going out was dangerous, but hell, all Jay had was roast chicken and disgusting speedster flapjacks or some shit. Jay had tried to stop him from going out, but the kid wasn’t listening – there was nothing that was gonna stop him from getting some proper damn food. 

It was because of the whole getting food thing that Jax found himself walking down some damn dark-ass alleyway at some damn stupid time, having taken a wrong turn on the way to that 24-hour store. He had just turned around and was about to head back when he heard a dull clang, and in front of him a person who he swore hadn’t been there before slid down the side of a dumpster and fell in a heap on the floor. 

The smart thing to do would have been to run, but Jax didn’t wanna do the smart thing, he wanted to do the compassionate thing. He called out to the guy, running over, but the figure either didn’t hear or had been totally knocked out or some shit. Jax had continued to move forward when something froze him in place; a feeling, a sensation, of warmth and familiarity… A feeling that he swore he could never feel again. 

And then he saw it. 

This… Skeletal figure emerged, taking a step towards the fallen person, looking down at them with a tilted head that almost conveyed curiosity. Then the skeleton guy reached out, taking the figure by the neck, and held the guy up into the air as if they weighed nothing. With their other hand raised they twitched their fingers, the flicker of blue playing across a gloved hand- 

And that was when Jax stepped out with a yell.

\-------

Jax had faced bad guys before. He had gone through a lot of shit. But never, never had he expected to come face to face with someone who looked so gaunt, so frail… But at the same time, the person seemed to have an air of strength about them… And something was just familiar. 

The person turned, leaving the fallen figure on the ground behind them. The glare of light flashed across their face – glasses, Jax realised, shattered glasses – and then they started to walk towards Jax. Their sunken features made them look like a skeleton; he could make out the dark circles around the person’s eyes, the skin tone that was impossibly pale, the pitch black demonic eyes, the silver hair- 

The silver hair. 

Instead of turning back, Jax stepped forwards, his breathing hitched and his heart racing. Holy shit, was it really? No, he had to be seeing things, this couldn’t actually be happening, he was hallucinating or some shit, maybe he was still back in that facility being examined and none of this had ever happened-

But then the blue flames flickered up from the skeleton’s silver hair, and the familiarity and the warmth washed over him, every sensation of anxiety he had felt in the past few months being drowned by that feeling, that sensation, and in that moment he knew that it must be, it must be- 

“Grey?”

\-------

The skeleton was Grey, alright. He stopped dead in his tracks, pitch black eyes squinting to try to focus on the person in front of him. It was almost as if he knew that he was looking at Jax, that Jax was standing here, right in front of him, that it was him who had spoken; but Grey couldn’t process the information. Between the shattered lenses of his glasses making the look in his eyes impossible to read and his skeletal features being practically emotionless, there was no way of telling what Grey was thinking. 

“Grey – or, maybe you never got called that on this earth. Professor Stein? It’s- it’s me. Jefferson Jackson. I… Do you know me?”

At that the blue flames went out, extinguishing along with the skeletal figure’s passive look. Instead, his expression contorted into one of confusion to begin with, and then it turned into that of anger. “You are not the Jefferson Jackson of this Earth,” he said with his voice cold and pointed as he took a step forward. “The Jefferson Jackson that I knew is dead.”

Jax blinked, trying to hide his surprise and try not to seem off his guard. The version of him from here was _dead_? So if he was dead – and presumably poor Ronnie was too, seeing as how he wasn’t exactly here – then what the hell had Grey become? Pushing aside his fear, he looked Grey straight in the eyes, standing his ground. “Well, I ain’t dead. I’m from Earth-1; I went travelling. I…” His curiosity overwhelmed him then, and he couldn’t help but ask. “What happened to you, man? What… What is all this?”

The skeletal version of Grey seemed to take a moment to contemplate his reply. “My Ronald died. And then my Jefferson died. The science of Deathstorm is complicated. They were victims of an incomplete science.”

 _Shit,_ Jax couldn’t help but think, _he said Deathstorm._ Choosing his words carefully, he continued. “So, what happened to you? I mean, you’re still here, and they’re not… And you uh. Don’t look like yourself, to say the least.” 

Blue flames flickered up from Deathstorm’s head, appearing to be in anger, but when he spoke his voice wasn’t harsh. It was more… Explanatory. “I merged with the skeleton of Jefferson Jackson. I had no option but to. A living partner to stabilise the Deathstorm Matrix would have been more apt, but this had to suffice.”

 _Holy fucking shit_ was the only thing that Jax could think in that moment. So that explained the skeletal appearance; Grey was merged with his Earth-3 counterpart’s dead body. That was… That was fucking wild. “So uh… What exactly do you use your powers for, huh? What was with the guy over there, the one that you were flinging against that dumpster or some shit? Are you one of these bad guys that I keep hearing about on the news – one of these guys from the Crime Syndicate?”

“I am neither good nor bad,” Grey explained, his black eyes seeming to stare into Jefferson’s soul. “I merely do as I must. If my science requires that I conduct evil, then that is what I do. The Crime Syndicate enables me to continue my work. Now…” He stepped forwards again – the two were only a few steps apart now, so close that Jax could feel the heat from the flames – and his expression softened into one of curiosity. “You know about me, and therefore I must assume that you knew me on Earth-1.”

Here was the topic of conversation that Jax hadn’t wanted to speak about, but Deathstorm Grey had answered his questions… So it was only fair that he answered some back as well. “I did know you, yeah. We uh- we were partners. Like you and Ronnie, and then you and… This Earth’s version of me. Grey died, though. We got separated for too long. I couldn’t get back to him. And he just… Fuck, man. He died.”

As the blue flames flickered higher Jax stared into them, searching for the familiarity that he so desperately wanted to find. The two of them seemed to have been through a lot. They had both lost one another, and now they were both in a shit situation. Jax realised what was happening here. He was finding himself again, that was it… This may not be his Grey, and this may not be Firestorm. But it was something. And maybe at the end of it all, Deathstorm could be better. 

When Deathstorm didn’t reply Jax straightened up instead, looking ahead with determination. “You lost me and Ronnie, yeah? And I lost you. We’ve both been through shit, man… And you ain’t in a good state now. I think we ended up here, together, for a reason. I could help you be Deathstorm again. I don’t know jack about all this science shit of yours, but I could learn… I could help you out. I wanna feel normal again. I wanna feel like us.”

Grey merely stared ahead silently, and Jax was worried that he was going to stay there and not do anything when suddenly a hand was extended towards him. As Jax reached out and took Deathstorm’s hand they were enveloped in blue fire; behind them the skeleton of the Earth-3 Jax blew away in a swirl of ashes, and the merge was complete once more. 

This may not have been his Grey, his Earth, his version of Firestorm; but maybe like this he could make a difference. Maybe Jax could do better. The blue flames flickered above him, and for some reason that was vaguely morbid, they felt familiar. Maybe he had meant to be Deathstorm all along.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I'd like to just thank you for reading this, I hope it wasn't too wild for you - it seems that the only thing that I can write is angst and pain. I've been wanting to write this for months but I only just got round to it. I know that Earth-3 Deathstorm 1. doesn't look like Stein and 2. doesn't have blue fire but I really liked the idea of that appearance so I just kind of rolled with it. I really just wanted to make Jax go on a big (painful) adventure in which this was the outcome.  
> The title of this also comes from the song Earth by Sleeping at Last. I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
